Love’s Cruelty: Affected by the “One-Itis”

Falling in love sometimes makes you say crazy things like “He is the one!” or “He is the only person worth living for” or “the only person I want!” It truly is a disease of the mind and heart. A disease I like to call “The One-itis.” So, how to deal with this love obsession? Well, I’ve got tips to heal your broken heart…keep reading…The one-itis is a love obsession that we tend to find in a person who cares a little too much for another person. The other person may or may not know that she even exists. The obsession and the frustration typically urge this person to find the other one  absolutely unique and special, and the obsessed one is gradually going to be persuaded that if she   “misses” this boy then she will have missed the best man in the world, and of course, despair will follow.

 

Obviously, it’s totally rubbish – but the one-itis makes you lose your head and believe that it is truth! This love obsession is a total loss of lucidity when it comes to the desired person. There are two big reasons why you become obsessed with a person:1. The romanticized idea of “love at first sight.”
2. The absence of the desired person or, as some call it, the “hard to get.”

Beyoncé GIF

Let me explain further.

Reason #1: The movies are always showing us love stories in which two people meet each other and fall in love. They got married and live happily ever after and it’s a beautiful, perfect fairy tale. This gives us an expectation of love that leads us to believe that it is just like that. We forget that it is just a movie, not the real life! Not to mention, who really knows what happens after the credits roll? Just because you think he’s the right person for you, doesn’t mean that he is. Love is so much more complicated and layered than it is typically depicted in film.

Reason #2: You already dated this person, you think you know him well, but this person doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Now your ego wants this person back and you also believe he is the only one who can give you your self-esteem back. You think you will never meet anybody who makes you feel the way he did. You will live and die all alone. The only way to avoid your inevitable life of loneliness is to get him back. Elizabeth Taylor would give you this advice: “Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” Well forget the drink! You already have a love addiction, you don’t need another one. I will give you another piece of advice, maybe even two.

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Words to Live By

1.) Give up. I mean, completely. Delete his phone number, delete him from your Facebook account, be disciplined about it – as hard as it may be. If somebody shows you low interest, you have to stop everything. The one who cares less always wins.  No need to find revenge or cry, you will just irritate him. Pitying yourself doesn’t make the other person love you. Keep your dignity, go away, and try to understand that your recovery period begins now. And it’s true what they say: time heals every wound. 2.) Lose yourself in a project. Nothing helps cure love-sickness faster than focusing on something you are passionate about. Start a business, find a job that is creatively fulfilling, or join a sports team. Working out or doing yoga is another way to free your mind and leave only the positive and self-loving thoughts in your head. Focus on others. Help to turn people’s day around, even if that just means a smile or a nice compliment. Take piano lessons or learn to cook. Every time the same endless questions pop back into your head, stop them immediately and, instead, focus on what is in front of you. It’s your head, you choose what is inside so don’t waste energy or time thinking about someone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. The less you obsess over love, the less room in takes up in your head, the easier it is to move on and start over.

Until next time stay beautiful and strong. Signing-off from Cannes, xoxo.

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